Ara sat with Dustan on the shores of her lake. The moonlight above shedding very little light over the waters. Silence stretched between them, but Ara didn't mind. She gazed with longing over the calm water, a silent sigh escaping her lips as she allowed it to ease her nerves. It wasn't until Dustan shifted for the millionth time next to her that she turned her eyes towards him.
"Dustan, you know you don't have to-"
"I want to." He quickly interjected. A sad smile formed in his lips and Ara couldn't help but return it.
She couldn't understand why he went out of his way to be with her, or why he comforted her. She was grateful for him that part was true. . . he was her only friend.
"Ara?"
"Yes?" She stared expectantly up at his eyes. They held so much emotion in their blue depths as they searched for something in her own golden stare. He was quiet for only a moment. At first, Ara was sure that he had forgotten or lost his train of thought. . . but then he leaned into her. The surprise of his lips pressing softly against hers brought Ara to gasp. His movements were coy and timid, she felt his body shiver as he deepened the kiss.
She didn't know what to do,she merely sat there. He expected a response from her, almost needed it but Ara wouldn't give it to him, she couldn't. In fact her heart began to accelerate as panic settled in. Her mind flashed with images of her fathers abuse as Dustan went to reach for her hand and Ara couldn't take it anymore. Suddenly, she wasn't with Dustan. She wasn't in her sanctuary, she was home. Back to the endless assaults and attacks, back with her jailer as he took advantage of her body. . . over. . . and over. . .
"Stop. . . stop!" She nearly screamed on a breathless gasp as she turned away from him. Her body shook violently as Ara battled the emotions that now raged inside of her.
"Shit. . . Shit, Ara-"
"Just. . . just wait Dustan." Her voice was broken, her breaths coming out in pants as she tried to reign in some control over her body. Her arms came around her, she squeezed her eyes shut and counted silently in her mind. Stop, just stop. Please stop!
She was barely aware of the sobs that ran through her trembling body, her mind was too focused on keeping herself from having a mental breakdown.
"Ara, God. . . I'm so sorry. Please. . . let me. . ." His voice trailed off only to be followed by whispers in a language she didn't understand. Before she knew it, an overwhelming feeling of relief washed over her entire system. It felt absolutely amazing, almost as if every bad thing in the world had disappeared, leaving nothing but the feeling of euphoria and. . . happiness. It was so brief, Ara literally cried out when it ended and she turned a questioning stare to her friend.
"What was. . . that?"
He averted his eyes as he pulled his legs up to him. He looked so. . . sad. . . almost hurt. Guilt began to rise up within Ara as she wanted to comfort him like he comforted her. God, she felt awful. All he wanted was for her to return his feelings, his affections but she couldn't. Her father had taken the ability to trust, to let anyone in. He robbed her from any chance she had at a normal life and she couldn't help the bitter anger that rose up inside of her. She hated him. She hated everything he was! Why her?
"I'm sorry Dustan. I really am. I. . . I'll see you tomorrow." She rose and left before he could protest. Was she doomed? Ara hoped with all her will that she wasn't. Her eyes turned up towards the sky, finding the star that always seemed to shine whenever she needed it. She sent a silent prayer, as if it would hear her. . .perhaps it was a wish? She couldn't be sure what or who she really was addressing but she begged nonetheless.
Please. . . please. . . let me find happiness. Don't let this be my life.
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